Solving for X

“Elon, thank you! Come to Grozny, where you will be welcome as the dearest of guests! I don’t think the Russian Foreign Ministry would have anything against you visiting,” Kadyrov said, adding: “And, of course, we look forward to your new inventions that will help us bring the special military operation to a successful conclusion.”

Users of X, which belongs to Musk, immediately began wondering whether he could really have gifted Kadyrov the vehicle. If Kadyrov was joking, why didn’t Musk say something? Indeed, Seth Abramson, an American professor, author and political columnist, accused Musk of “providing vehicles ready for military use to sanctioned enemies of America”.

“Why isn’t this the biggest story in America today? Why is West Point coddling a man working openly against the US?” Abramson wondered, referring to the elite US military academy where Musk was recently received as a guest.

Musk responded bluntly: “Are you seriously so retarded that you think I donated a Cybertruck to a Russian general?” Abramson said Musk had failed to answer the question and wondered why he didn’t disable the vehicle. Following the Russian invasion of Ukraine in early 2022, agitated Twitter users asked Musk, who is also CEO of Tesla, to deactivate Teslas sold to people in Russia and Belarus. Musk ignored the demands.

Despite there being no evidence that Kadyrov received the car from Musk, the media frenzy over the supposed relationship between the two influential men refused to die down. Kadyrov advised Musk on Monday “not to pay attention to retarded, unenlightened people and the corrupt media”, and thanked him again, though this time for Starlink satellite internet, which he said was being used by Russian forces in Ukraine.

“Keep inventing and reaching new heights. Your inventions are of great help to us. You’re doing just great! P.S. Thank you very much for Starlink. The speed in the special military operation zone is amazing! Our fighters are in awe of you too!”

This was an obvious attempt to provoke Musk: the global Starlink satellite system, developed by another of his companies, SpaceX, still works in the parts of Ukraine occupied by Russia, providing data services to Russian forces. Starlink could be disabled, but Kyiv says that would make using combat drones much more complicated.

Furthermore, Musk is shrewdly manipulating Starlink, and playing into the Kremlin’s hands as he does so. A recent Musk biography written by journalist Walter Isaacson says that “Elon Musk secretly ordered his engineers not to turn on his company’s Starlink satellite communications network near the Crimean coast last year to disrupt a Ukrainian sneak attack on the Russian naval fleet”, according to CNN. The drones, which were packed with explosives, fell into the sea and the attack failed. Musk explained that Kyiv was “now going too far” and could provoke a nuclear response from Russia.

Kadyrov is clearly joking when he says that Musk personally gifted him the Tesla, but he is not the first authoritarian leader to make the same boast. Belarusian dictator Alexander Lukashenko recounted how Musk gave him a Tesla while addressing a group of schoolchildren in 2019, but didn’t specify which model or why the unpredictable billionaire had done so. Lukashenko was most likely referring to the Tesla Model S he had tested in 2017, which he said at the time had come straight from the manufacturer. Musk denied the story.

But Musk and Kadyrov have a history of online spats. When Musk challenged Vladimir Putin to single combat on Twitter — now X — in March 2022, with Ukraine as the stakes, it was Kadyrov who piped up in response, suggesting on Telegram that Musk shouldn’t “face off against Putin”.

“Do you think it’ll be you — entrepreneur and Twitter blogger — in the red corner and Putin — global politician, strategist, and threat to the West and the US — in the blue corner?”, Kadyrov asked, before adding that “It would be unsportsmanlike for Vladimir Vladimirovich to beat a weaker opponent.”

Instead of going head-to-head with Putin, Kadyrov suggested Musk work out and “become brutal Elon,” rather than the “delicate Elon” he was now, and undergo weapons training in the Chechen city of Gudermes, visit the Akhmat fight club or do an internship at the Grozny TV company to learn how to run a social media company.

“You’ll go home from Chechnya a completely different person, Elona. Elon, I mean,” Kadyrov said, purposely feminising Musk’s name in a clumsy joke doubtlessly intended to be an insult.

Musk appreciated Kadyrov’s teenage trolling and trolled him back. He changed his profile name to Elona Musk but politely rejected Kadyrov’s suggestions, reiterating his challenge to Putin instead.

“Thank you for the offer, but such excellent training would give me too much of an advantage. If he is afraid to fight, I will agree to use only my left hand and I am not even left-handed.”

Kadyrov responded threateningly: “But don’t try to face off against my president, Elona. I am his foot soldier, and I’d have to send you a challenge of my own. And then there’d be no more funny, harmless messages. Save your hands. You’ll need them to tweet.”

Kadyrov then switched from insults to gratitude, thanking Musk for refusing to block Russian propaganda on Starlink, despite unnamed foreign governments allegedly asking him to do so. Kadyrov also said that he appreciated people with their own vision and unshakable will and hoped that the challenge to Putin had just been a joke.